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21 Jun 2015

I'm not one to rain on anybody's parade but after yesterday's landing of the eagle event in Broadstairs, I feel it's important that droplets of common sense precipitate on a procession of whimsy.

It was a well organised and enjoyable event that celebrated us beating the...

2 Jun 2015

I would suggest avoiding the promenade at Viking Bay due to high winds blowing a plant into the footpath.

The blocked walkway has led to queues of at least 45 seconds and when I tried to pass there was a tailback of 3 pedestrians and a mobility scooter. After 15 seconds...

1 Apr 2015

For too long now Broadstairs has been Charles Dickens this, Bleak House that. Thankfully this is about to change as Thanet District council have listened to popular public opinion and want to celebrate other delights Broadstairs has to offer tourists and residents alik...

17 Mar 2015

Citizens of Broadstairs, through your loose morals and base behaviour you have allowed evil to take hold on the outskirts of our town. Your imbibing of chainstore coffee and lack of aviation facilities has led us on a path to Satan.

We must banish this evil. If we congr...

30 Nov 2014

I'm currently looking to recruit ambitious young (or old although nothing over 31) people to train as henchman.

I have advertised through the job centre but they seemed overpriced and untrustworthy to assist in my quest to take over the world/enslave humanity.

The p...

28 Nov 2014

I heard rumour that there is to be a "Broadstairs' Person of the Year" award. I'm not saying I deserve a medal or anything, but as you can see from this photo, the town was in pieces until I came along.

If the award does happen and it does come with a medal, I feel dese...

21 Oct 2014

Breaking News... Boat sinks off Broadstairs Harbour.

Hurricane Gonzalo has taken its toll on the Broadstairs community by floundering a vessel just off Broadstairs harbour with the unfortunate loss of life. One crab was crushed to death as the boat hit the sea floor. Th...

19 Sep 2014

Just throwing this out there and not saying we should do it or anything, but do you think there would be support for a referendum on the independence of Broadstairs?

I think we should do it. It feels like the right time and with the South East coast's wind reserves and...

5 Sep 2014

During September, residents of Broadstairs were set adrift without Three Mobile reception. Here follows a journal of how I survived a journey that would have broken lesser men.

Day 1:

It’s only when you lose something that you appreciate its value. Today I awoke as I wou...

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