Poopy Shoes

Does anybody know if there is an awards committee in Ramsgate? If there is, I think I should be considered for an award as I have trod in doggy poop every day this week culminating today in, which I hope you will agree, my pièce de résistance of smearing 3 separate poops with my shoes in one walk.

I'm not saying I deserve an award or anything, but not everyone is as unobservant of where they are walking as me so I do think I should receive a prize in recognition of my achievements. Perhaps the keys to the city or the office of Mayor if that's not already taken, or maybe, as I suspect some of you are already thinking, a 700m golden sculpture of my poop encrusted shoe set upon a plinth at the entrance to the harbour to welcome visiting mariners?

Alternately, the troglodytes that fail to remove their doggy effluence could be so considerate as to think of others and both keep and eye on their dog and pick up their poop? Just a suggestion I'd thought I throw out there.

On a different note, I have an almost new pair of shoes for sale, 1 careful owner. Message me if interested.