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Council Cutback On Double Yellow Lines

As part of a Thanet Council money saving exercise, it has been announced that they are to cut back on double yellow lines leaving Thanet’s kerbsides dangerously unprotected and motorists up in arms.

“It would have taken us an extra 30 seconds to link the yellow lines up” said Dave Windworth, the man tasked with slopping some paint out of a bucket. “Unfortunately we didn’t have the time, morning tea is at 10:00, brunch 11:00 and lunch at 12:00 followed by knocking off at 13:00. Due to cutbacks there are only four of us eating so we’re rushed off our feet, I don’t know how they expect us to get anything done in the day” he explained before taking a 20 minute fag break.

Residents reacted with the customary anger at the incomplete double yellow lines, a popular fixture with motorists. “Screw the NHS, we need our double yellow lines” ranted Max Power, a local motor enthusiast and VW Passat driver. “What fun is it to park without the risk of getting a ticket? Of course consideration must be given to mothers with prams, wheelchair users and the infirm when parking so I’ve found the trick is to park over the kerb so it looks like they can make it through but then they face the bleak reality of having to reverse up and navigating around my car in the road, risking life and limb in the process. Anyway, must dash, I need to top up my suntan from the brake lights of cars I tailgate.” he said before speeding off the wrong way down a one-way street.

Thanet Council were contacted for comment but they were out to lunch.

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